AN EXEMPLARY MUSLIM WOMAN
THE MUSLIM WOMEN'S IDEAL CHARACTER
In the Qur'an, Allah informs us how belief benefits
Do not marry women who associate
[others with Allah] until they believe. A slave girl who is one
of the believers is better for you than a woman who associates
[others with Allah], even though she may attract you. And do not
marry men who associate [others with Allah] until they believe.
A slave who is one of the believers is better for you than a man
who associates [others with Allah], even though he may attract
you. Such people call you to the Fire, whereas Allah calls you,
with His permission, to the Garden and forgiveness. He makes His
Signs clear to people so that, hopefully, they will pay heed.
(Surat al-Baqara: 221)
Allah reveals that belief, fear and respect of
Allah, and Islamic morality are the foremost causes of the believers'
strength of character and virtue. Belief makes all of a person's
qualities meaningful. In addition, the Qur'an's morality helps women,
and everyone else, to acquire a most strong, solid, and virtuous
character. As Allah revealed in the verse, "No
indeed! We have given them that by which they are remembered [i.e.
their honor, eminence and dignity]" (Surat al-Mu'minun: 71),
this morality gives people their dignity and honor. Therefore, women
who live by this morality will be respected and enjoy their deserved
honor and dignity.
As we mentioned earlier, Allah has not determined
separate characters for men and women and therefore calls on all
people to abide by one Muslim character. Therefore, Muslims fear
and respect Allah, seek His good pleasure, and seek only to win
the Hereafter, in the full knowledge that this worldly life is temporary
and that he or she will die one day.
All Muslims always strive to live by the Qur'an's
morality. Women who do so are free from all of the character defects,
weaknesses, and prejudices found among unbelievers. Instead, they
develop a strong character based on their belief. Believers disregard
the suggestions and criticisms of their society, family, or friends
and live according to the Qur'an's values and morality.
Maryam is one of the best role models for such
women, for during all of the difficult trials that she underwent
at the hands of her unbelieving society, she always showed her strength
of character and integrity. And, the strength that she derived from
her belief in Allah, her sincere submission to Him, and her constant
adherence to Islam's values enabled her to preserve her honor and
integrity. In fact, she was noted for these qualities among people.
In the coming pages, we will explore the basics
of a woman's ideal character and how much it differs from the character
of unbelieving women.
Muslim Women Submit to God
Muslim women believe in Allah with a true heart,
submit completely to Him, are aware that there is no other deity,
that He is the Lord of every being and thing, and that He is All-Powerful.
Therefore, she fears and respects only Him and seeks to win only
His good pleasure. She worships only Him, accepts only Him as her
closest friend, and seeks only His help. She also knows that only
He can direct good and bad toward her, and so lives in the full
knowledge that she is dependent on Him. She knows that He keeps
her alive, provides and cares for her, and protects and guards her.
For these reasons, she has no expectations of other people.
She believes in Allah without the slightest doubt
in her heart for her whole life, never losing heart or belief regardless
of the circumstances. She knows how to be grateful and content with
her closeness to Him both when her life is good and when she is
undergoing difficulties. She is in a state of constant submission,
certain of our Lord's love, compassion, forgiveness, and providence.
When she encounters a problem, she knows that Allah
has provided a solution in the Qur'an, and that what matters most
is her continued sincere love, submission, and trust in Allah. She
is certain of Allah's promise that He creates everything according
to His justice and with wisdom and goodness.
Even if her problems seem to go on forever, she
never surrenders to hopelessness or worries when His help will come.
Content with what He has sent her way, she maintains her patience
and submission, knowing that something good will come out of it.
She remembers what the Qur'an says about those who abandon their
belief in such times. In addition, she recites "My
Lord is with me and will guide me" (Surat ash-Shu'ara': 62),
just as the Prophets did when faced with hardship. Throughout her
life, her profound faith enables her to see Allah's compassion,
closeness, love, help, and friendship at all times.
This superior character becomes even more distinctive
when compared with that of unbelieving women. Some unbelieving women
do not show the appropriate degree of submission in their encounters,
because they ignore the fact that Allah creates everything and inserts
much wisdom and goodness hidden therein. One of the best-known characteristics
of such women is their impatience, lack of determination, panic,
and throwing tantrums when experiencing various hardships.
For this reason, and to save themselves the hassle,
men often try to keep women away from potentially troublesome situations.
Movies and novels are full of such stories. Since they do not place
their trust in Allah and do not submit to Him, they cannot find
the patience and resolution to endure hard times. In fact, their
strength is in direct proportion to the size of the gain they can
expect from working through these difficulties.
Believing women derive their strength from their
belief and their determination to win Allah's good pleasure. Therefore,
their resistance can be quite powerful. The Qur'an reveals this
truth in the following verse: "Allah's guidance,
that is true guidance. We are commanded to submit as Muslims to
the Lord of all the worlds" (Surat al-An'am: 71). Allah gives
good news to those who submit to Him:
Those who submit themselves completely
to Allah and do good have grasped the Firmest Handhold. The end
result of all affairs is with Allah. (Surah Luqman: 22)
Not so! All who submit themselves
completely to Allah and are good-doers will find their reward
with their Lord. They will feel no fear and will know no sorrow.
(Surat al-Baqara: 112)
The Muslim Women, the Qur'an,
and the Hadiths
As is the case with all believers, a Muslim woman's
sole sources of guidance are the Qur'an and the sunnah (example)
of our Prophet (saas). She shapes her personality, character, lifestyle,
ideals, desires, behavior, and morality according to these two sources.
By asking "Do they then seek the judgment
of the Time of Ignorance? Who could be better at giving judgment
than Allah for people with certainty?" (Surat al-Ma'ida:
50), Allah proclaims that the most correct and best judgments are
contained in the Qur'an. Moreover,
... We have sent down the Book
to you making all things clear and as guidance, and mercy and
good news, for the Muslims. (Surat an-Nahl: 89)
Our Prophet (saas) said: "Verily,
I have left among you the Book of Allah and the sunnah (example)
of His Apostle. If you hold fast to them, you shall never go astray."21
With these words, he reminded Muslims that the most important guidance
is the Qur'an and his sunnah.
When looking at an unbelieving society's stereotypical
ideas of women, we notice immediately that they act according to
their whims or instincts. The conditioning they receive from childhood
onward about the ideal woman's character become almost their sole
source of guidance. Given that the women in their immediate environment
act and speak in the same way, that women portrayed in films and
novels display the same character, that people seem to agree on
what a woman's character should be, their character is a habitual
one. Thus, it is easy to predict how they will respond in certain
situations, what decisions they will reach, how they will behave,
and even what they will say.
On the other hand, Muslim women always react correctly,
make the right decisions, and obtain the best results because they
are guided by the Qur'an and the Prophet's (saas) sunnah. Besides,
they do not experience the unhappiness and discontent that unbelieving
women do. As the following verse reveals, Muslim men and women lead
a happy life, as promised by Allah: "Anyone
who acts rightly, male or female, being a believer, We will give
them a good life and recompense them according to the best of what
they did" (Surat an-Nahl: 97).
Muslim Women Have Great Ideals
One of the unbelievers' most misguided character
traits is the restrictions that they placed on people's ideals,
thoughts, and lifestyle. In the case of women, society tells them
that they have certain duties and responsibilities that they are
expected to fulfill to the best of their ability. Usually, they
are not encouraged to acquire different ideals or develop their
personalities. Only when women become aware of this reality do they
begin to perceive the need to seek greater ideals, widen their horizon,
and develop their personalities.
Primarily, women are expected to provide for
and cater to their families' needs and raise their children. Otherwise,
they focus on themselves, according to the conditioning they received
when young. They concentrate on their physical appearance, hair
style, make-up, clothing and fashion in general; keeping their homes
clean; and talking with their friends. While there is nothing wrong
with such activities, it is wrong to limit their lives just to these
tasks without even knowing why this is so.
Allah created men and women for a purpose and revealed
their responsibilities in the Qur'an. Most importantly, each woman
is responsible to our Lord, for He created her, gave her life, protected
and watched over her, and provided for her. Men and women are required
to lead the moral life prescribed by Allah, worship and serve Him,
and to win His good pleasure. They are required to tell people who
are far from the happy and contented life of following the Qur'an's
values about Islam's values and to make a genuine effort to help
them draw closer to Allah's pleasure, mercy, and Paradise. They
must strive to save people from negative frames of mind, and from
suffering under the influence of the chaos and disorder, all of
which are presented by Satan and thus are devoid of true love, respect,
All believers are obliged to help and guide those
who are weak and distressed to His path:
What reason could you have for
not fighting in the Way of Allah-for those men, women, and children
who are oppressed and say: "Our Lord, take us out of this city
whose inhabitants are wrongdoers! Give us a protector from You!
Give us a helper from You!?" (Surat an-Nisa': 75)
Allah further reminds Muslims that they are obliged
to assist orphans, people who are stranded, and other needy people:
Worship Allah and do not associate
anything with Him. Be good to your parents and relatives, orphans
and the very poor, neighbors who are related to you and neighbors
who are not related to you, and companions, travelers, and your
servants. Allah does not love anyone vain or boastful. (Surat
A Muslim woman is aware of all these responsibilities
and so does not focus only on herself. Rather, she does her best
to solve the problems around the world, such as helping people who
are suffering, fighting infectious diseases, working with children
displaced or orphaned by war and conflict, and taking care of the
elderly and other women as if they were her own problems.
She gives her full attention to every matter
in her daily life, because she knows that the truly important thing
is to win Allah's good pleasure, live the Qur'an's morality, and
spread this morality in order to bring true contentment and happiness
to all others. For this reason, she acts in the knowledge that what
she encounters each day is not so important when put into the overall
context of what she was created to do.
Muslim Women Are Dignified
... And the soul and what proportioned
and inspired it with depravity or heedfulness; he who purifies
it has succeeded, he who covers it up has failed. (Surat ash-Shams:
The above verses warn people about the selfish
ego that, when not brought under control, will lead them to limitless
evil. A person's fear and respect of Allah, as well as his or her
belief in the Hereafter, gives each person the strength and reason
to resist these temptations.
Without this awareness, people will follow their
desires and not worry about their meeting with Allah in the Hereafter,
where they will be held accountable for their deeds. If his ego
demands anger, jealousy, or ill-treatment of someone else, he will
indulge it. If her selfish ego encourages her to vent her anger
or jealous frustration with insinuations, mockery, slander, lies,
conspiracies, or hypocritical behavior, she will oblige it without
giving it a second thought. Such people will commit all of these
sins without reservation, because they believe that they will never
have to account for their deeds.
Allah, however, reveals that all of these activities
are unconstrained evils called for by the selfish ego. When people
act on these impulses, things just get worse. People who cannot
control their emotions, even when they know that what they are doing
is wrong, show that they are both weak and ignore their conscience.
In other words, they seem to grow smaller. It is debasing to be
unable to act maturely or respond rationally when their selfish
egos suggest otherwise. As Allah reveals, the dignifying and rightful
response to such evil suggestions is to ignore them and act conscientiously.
This character trait needs to be worked on, for eventually it will
earn other people's respect and love and raise the person's ranks
in His eyes, as well as in the eyes of other people.
Muslim women have enough dignity and character
to reject such debasing behavior for small gains. Allah informs
us of the conspiring nature of unbelieving women:
"He saw the shirt torn at the back and said: 'The source of this
is women's deviousness. Without a doubt your guile is very great'"
(Surah Yusuf: 28). Unbelieving women often try to resolve situations
by conspiring, intriguing, or lying instead of seeking rational
solutions. Indulging Satan's suggestions, they fall back on hypocrisy,
cowardice, or devious methods. Believing women, on the other hand,
resolve their problems by honesty, openness, and sincerity, for
their awareness of Allah totally removes them from such inappropriate
Unbelieving women also are characterized by envy.
Allah mentions envious people and warns others about their evil:
"Say: 'I seek refuge with the Lord of Daybreak,
from the evil of what He has created and from the evil of the darkness
when it gathers, and from the evil of women who blow on knots and
from the evil of an envier when he envies'" (Surat al-Falaq:
1-5). Some unbelieving women are prone to such behavior, which causes
distrust, tantrums, broken relationships, and endless arguments,
all of which result in an unfulfilled and unhappy life. In addition,
they cause great suffering and damage to themselves and to those
around them. Believing women, however, will disregard this aspect
of human ego, knowing that it leads to great losses in this life
as well as in the next.
Mockery is another character defect of unbelieving
women. In the following verse Allah warns them against such behavior:
"O you who believe! People should not ridicule
others who may be better than themselves; nor should any women ridicule
other women who may be better than themselves. And do not find fault
with one another or insult each other with derogatory nicknames"
(Surat al-Hujurat: 11).
Those women who are shaped by the unbelief that
rules their societies do not hesitate to ridicule people for their
shortcomings or to mock others, because they do not think of the
Hereafter. They do not consider this behavior as wrong, but rather
as a kind of humor. Often this mockery is not even verbal, but is
expressed by making faces, rolling one's eyes, imitating their mannerisms,
or whispering about them. Believing women shun such activities,
because they know that Allah requires them to live according to
the Qur'an's morality.
In another verse, Allah reminds people not to speculate
or gossip about others: "O you who believe!
Avoid most suspicion. Indeed, some suspicion is a crime. Do not
spy and do not backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat
his brother's dead flesh? No, you would hate it. And have fear of
Allah. Allah is Ever-Returning, Most Merciful" (Surat al-Hujurat:
Believing women live dignified lives. Instead of
mocking others, they try to help. They compliment people who are
successful, instead of succumbing to envy and gossip. And, when
in the company of unbelieving people who might somehow offend them,
they do not compromise their integrity or dignity.
Muslim Women Have a Strong
Character and Willpower
The values of unbelief usually identify power with
such things as money, fame, prestige, or status, for each of them
is believed to confer power on that particular person. In fact,
even one who acquires the patronage of such a person considers himself
or herself to be powerful. In reality, however, power based on this
world's impermanent values can disappear just as quickly as it appeared.
Muslims derive their power from their faith, and
so their power never changes. This is an important factor in the
character of Muslim women, and Allah describes it in the following
O you who believe! If any of
you renounce your religion, Allah will bring forward a people
whom He loves and who love Him, humble to the believers, fierce
to the unbelievers, who strive in the Way of Allah and do not
fear the blame of any censurer. That is the unbounded favor of
Allah, which He gives to whoever He wills. Allah is Boundless,
All-Knowing. (Surat al-Ma'ida: 54)
Another important Islamic character trait revealed
here is the believers' strong personality, which can withstand the
criticism of people. Muslims know very well that all Prophets were
accused and persecuted, made to suffer and forced to emigrate, or
even killed. Nevertheless, these Prophets are the believers' role
models, due to their strong, enduring, and solid personalities,
as well as their patience and determination.
As Allah reveals, Muslims know that they will be
tested in this life through hardship, suffering, and insulting words:
"You will be tested in your wealth and in
yourselves, and you will hear many abusive words from those given
the Book before you and from those who associate [others with Allah].
But if you are steadfast and guard against evil, that is the most
resolute course to take" (Surah Al 'Imran: 186). They will
regard all such events as opportunities to prove their faith in
Allah, their surrender and loyalty to Him, and will endure them
with determination and patience.
They never show the weaknesses of unbelieving women.
No one's insults, rude behavior, or criticism causes them to lose
heart or become weak, and they consider it beneath their dignity
to respond with an emotional display of hurt or being upset. Whatever
happens, they trust in Allah and keep their peace of mind, knowing
that Allah is ever Just and All-Knowing, and that "they
will not be wronged by so much as the smallest speck" (Surat
an-Nisa': 49). They surrender to Allah, knowing that He will expose
any injustice, and so do not worry about any unfounded accusation.
Some unbelieving women consider strength and
willpower to be male characteristics, out of the mistaken belief
that only men have to show strength and determination for themselves,
as well as for the women in their charge, in the face of adversity.
Thus, they consider it to be in their best interest to surrender
to men's intellect, willpower, and strength. Especially when encountering
trouble and difficulty, they lose whatever little strength and willpower
they have and panic, and thus give themselves up to irrational and
This pale and weak personality leads unbelieving
women to pay too much attention to what other people think about
them. Often, they knowingly do something wrong just to impress others
or to win a respectable place among them. Likewise, if they are
criticized, they feel belittled and disliked, and so feel devastated.
Not understanding that what matters is their value in Allah's presence,
they only seek the approval of people and end up being upset and
distraught, thinking that all they ever do is a waste. As a result,
they become depressed and lose their strength, willpower, and courage.
But Muslim women never stagger because of people's
criticism. Given that they measure themselves by the yardstick of
the Qur'an, which spells out clearly what is right and what is wrong,
they strive to live up to the Qur'anic morality. If they are criticized
for doing so, they become even more determined and stronger in their
pursuit of His good pleasure, which is the highest goal to pursue.
Believing that only the Qur'an's morality gives them any value in
this world and the next, they do not care what other people think
of them. Even if they are all alone, they do not follow the majority
but remain independent. Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, when discussing
this matter, stated that the people's approval has no significance
for those who live in ways designed to win His good pleasure:
The Divine assent is sufficient.
If He is your beloved, then everything is your beloved. If He
is not your beloved, then the applause of the entire world is
You should seek Divine pleasure
in your actions. If Almighty Allah is pleased, it is of no importance
even should the whole world be displeased. If He accepts an action
and everyone else rejects it, it has no effect. Once His pleasure
has been gained and He has accepted an action, even if you do
not ask it of Him, should He wish it and His wisdom require it,
He will make others accept it. He will make them consent to it,
too. For this reason, the sole aim in this service should be the
direct seeking of Divine pleasure.23
O lower self, if you acquired
your Creator's assent with your piety and devotion, then it shall
be sufficient and there shall be no need to look for people's
assent. If the people agree and accept on Allah's behalf, then
it is good. If they act to gain worldly blessings, then it shall
be utterly worthless. Because they are weak servants, just like
Muslim Women Are Balanced
People who live by their own self-made rules can
easily make compromises when they deem it in their best interests
to do so. No paramount guiding principle shapes their lives and
gives permanence to their personalities. Therefore, from time to
time, their personalities show signs of change and cannot be considered
The defining factor is usually their selfish ego,
for Allah reveals that all people have been created with egotistic
tendencies. If people are ruled by their ego, all of their behavior
will be determined accordingly. This will have an impact on their
personality's balance, consistency, and stability. For example,
they can become angry, emotional, cross, or envious at a moment's
notice and then reflect it in their behavior. Such people constantly
surprise others with their unexpected reactions, and so evoke distrust
Such character traits are found among unbelieving
women. Since they are far removed from the Qur'an's values, they
surrender to the stereotyped emotions of women and let their lives
be determined by this behavior. Eventually, this leads them to irrational
and imbalanced behavior.
Believing women, since they read the Qur'an, know
that their ego always tempts them toward wickedness and that Satan
will try to persuade them to indulge in imbalanced and irrational
behavior and to act on their instincts. In many verses, He reminds
people that those who accept the Qur'an's guidance and follow the
voice of their conscience will develop an ideal personality and
become distinguished in both worlds.
Muslim women acquire this strong and superior personality
by following the path shown by Allah. This involves conforming their
responses to Islam's values in order to develop a measured and balanced
personality. Their actions, viewpoints, and logic will never surprise
other people, for their personalities will always reflect the stability
flowing from the Qur'an's morality. In other words, they will have
reliable personalities, unlike all unbelieving women.
Muslim Women Are Not Emotional
Unbelievers think that being emotional is an important
part of the human character. According to this view, the resulting
behavior is a feeling that needs to be experienced. Such behavioral
defects as being angry, upset, and introverted, or weeping, complaining,
and apathy, are encouraged, for they supposedly come from the heart.
This view is completely wrong. In unbelieving societies, such emotionalism,
especially that seen in women, is responsible for a weak personality.
And, as we saw above, people with weak personalities are, to a great
extent, unable to think rationally or logically and thus cannot
make appropriate decisions.
Muslim women know the selfish ego's qualities
and how to fight them, for their personalities and lives are defined
by the Qur'an. They know that emotionalism clouds the mind, prevents
reality from being seen as it is, and causes weakness and irresolution.
In addition, they are very well aware that such stereotypical qualities
as being sentimental, upset, introverted, angry, and envious are
not consistent with the believers' character, because Allah does
not like it and tells Muslims to refrain from it.
These behavioral defects issue from flawed beliefs
and the lack of sufficient awareness of certain facts. People who
easily surrender to them have either forgotten or else continue
to deny the fact that Allah is All-Powerful; creates everything
according to His wisdom, justice, and goodness; creates whatever
He wills; and answers all prayers.
Genuine surrender and dedication to Him, as well
as knowing that He controls everything, results in seeing goodness
in everything and prevents inappropriate emotion-based behavior.
Muslim women guard themselves against all such behavioral defects
out of their strong love, and fear and respect of Allah. They seek
to be role models of Islamic behavior, personality, and high morality,
as the following verse reveals: "Those who
say: 'Our Lord, give us joy in our wives and children and make us
a good example for those who guard against evil'" (Surat
al-Furqan: 74). Thus, they never give way to depression or emotionalism.
Avoiding these non-Islamic character traits, they
acquire a strong personality in order to serve as examples to other
women and act in full awareness of this responsibility. By cleansing
their ego from wickedness, they find generosity and contentment
in both worlds and thus live happy lives: "It
is the people who are safeguarded from the avarice of their own
selves who are successful" (Surat al-Hashr: 9).
Muslim Women Have a Genuine
and Natural Personality
Sincerity means to be the same in every situation;
to have one's heart reflect its feelings as they are; and to be
honest, open, and clear. In other words, it consists of fully and
honestly revealing one's personality and thoughts without seeking
any gain for doing so. An important feature of sincerity is the
impossibility of imitating in one's life what goes on in one's heart.
A sincere person's behavior comes from the heart, is natural, and
creates a very positive and lasting impression on other people.
A genuine person's looks, conversation, style, and body language
are natural and influential.
However, many people are unaware of sincerity's
power and effect and so look for it elsewhere. Some people resort
to pretence, hoping to discover what behavior or way of thinking
will please the other people. Since all people have different character
traits, these insincere people develop a suitable personality for
each person they want to influence, behave differently, and try
to appear as if they were representing different thoughts. But since
this insincere approach forces people into hypocrisy, it does not
have the desired effect and eventually creates an atmosphere of
repulsion, coldness, and distance. In addition, such people make
others nervous, for they never know what to expect.
Allah tells us about such people:
Allah has made a metaphor for
them of a man owned by several partners in dispute with one another,
and another man wholly owned by a single man. Are they the same?
Praise be to Allah! The fact is that most of them do not know.
(Surat az-Zumar: 29)
Unbelievers consider pretence a legitimate behavior,
because they do not reflect sufficiently upon the consequences of
insincerity toward Allah and other people. Pretence is especially
common among unbelieving women, for some of them appear to like
and take an interest in others, whom they neither respect nor like,
but backbite nevertheless because of some common interests that
they may have. They can lie and cheat one another without a second
thought or, by concealing their antipathy, create the opposite impression.
Likewise, they can conceal these feelings and try to fool the people
they value and like very much.
Muslim women do not behave this way, because their
lives are guided by their sincere fear and respect of Allah. They
never worry about pleasing anyone for some small material gain,
for Allah and many other people despise such behavior. Rather, they
seek to behave in a way that will win them His good pleasure. They
also know that Allah likes only those who are sincere, for "He
knows what the heart contains" (Surat ash-Shura: 24). In
another verse, Allah says: "Though you speak
out loud, He knows your secrets and what is even more concealed"
(Surah Ta-Ha: 7). For this reason, only unbelievers seek to conceal
from others what is really in their hearts.
Besides, Muslim women know that winning people's
pleasure will not benefit them in either world, for Allah has revealed
that He will not forgive anyone who ascribes partners to Him. Therefore,
all believers must refrain from such behavior, for seeking to win
other people's approval is just one of the many ways of ascribing
partners to Allah.
Muslim Women Are Honest Allah
reminds people not to lie:
O You who believe! Have fear
[and respect] of Allah and speak the right word. He will put your
actions right for you and forgive you your wrong deeds. (Surat
... Have done with the defilement
of idols and with telling lies. (Surat al-Hajj: 30)
He also reveals that turning the truth upside
down and lying brings evil and Satan's friendship:
Shall I tell you upon whom the
demons descend? They descend on every evil liar. They give them
a hearing, and most of them are liars. (Surat ash-Shu'ara': 221-223)
As Allah reveals with "Cursed
be the liars" (Surat adh-Dhariyat: 10), Muslim women know
that Allah disapproves of lying and so refrain from it. Aware that
all of their words will confront them in the Hereafter, believing
women speak only words of goodness, which will be rewarded with
Allah's grace and mercy.
Lies, which will bring great loss in the Hereafter,
bring no benefit in this world either. As they always lead to psychological
and material loss, hypocritical and insincere people reflect their
true nature on their faces. Admitting to themselves that they are
dishonest and insincere, they lose their self-respect and the respect
for those whom they deceive. Nevertheless, they believe that others
do not perceive their insincerity and so develop a superiority complex
toward them. But such behavior leads to a major difficulty: One
is forced to develop more and more elaborate lies to conceal the
truth, and therefore lives with the constant fear of being exposed.
Allah will expose their insincerity and lies either in this world
or the next.
On the other hand, telling the truth is superior
and dignifying. Allah reveals the difference between good words
and corrupt words in the following example:
Do you not see how Allah makes
a metaphor of a good word: a good tree whose roots are firm and
whose branches are in heaven? It bears fruit regularly by its
Lord's permission. Allah makes metaphors for people so that, hopefully,
they will pay heed. The metaphor of a corrupt word is that of
a rotten tree, uprooted on Earth's surface. It has no staying-power.
Allah makes those who believe firm with the Firm Word in the life
of this world and the Hereafter. But Allah misguides the wrongdoers.
Allah does whatever He wills. (Surah Ibrahim: 24-27)
Aware of the goodness and prosperity inherent in
truth and honesty, Muslim women never compromise in such matters,
regardless of the consequences to themselves or others. With courage
and openness, they speak the truth at all times. Allah reveals this
O you who believe! Be upholders
of justice, bearing witness for Allah alone, even against yourselves
or your parents and relatives. Whether they are rich or poor,
Allah is well able to look after them. Do not follow your own
desires and deviate from the truth. If you twist or turn away,
Allah is aware of what you do. (Surat an-Nisa': 135)
Allah also reminds people not to sacrifice truth
and honesty in moments of anger:
O you who believe! Show integrity
for the sake of Allah, bearing witness with justice. Do not let
hatred for a people incite you into not being just. Be just. That
is closer to heedfulness. Have fear of Allah. Allah is aware of
what you do. (Surat al-Ma'ida: 8)
In unbelieving societies, many women lie to their
family members, spouses, children, siblings, or friends. They have
an excuse for each of these lies: some lies are harmless, it is
alright to lie in order to benefit someone, or white lies do not
count. For instance, they believe that there is nothing wrong with
lying about where they have been, whom they have been with, or on
what they have spent their money. Such things, they claim, are little
harmless lies common in every marriage.
In reality, none of these excuses is valid, since
Allah has forbidden lies. Moreover, lying is a characteristic of
Satan. As we know, Satan resorted to lies in order to get Prophet
Adam (as) and his wife expelled from Paradise.
Muslim women know the final destination of liars,
for their guiding principles are the Qur'an and our Prophet's (saas)
sunnah. Therefore, they refrain from this activity and strive to
remain honest, because following the truth at all times will bring
goodness and respect. Our Prophet (saas) told the believers that:
to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man
keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person."25
Muslim Women Are Brave
A common stereotype, often held by unbelieving
men, is that women do not have the necessary patience and maturity
to deal with certain stressful situations. In fact, they believe
that women actually make matters worse and become liabilities. There
is an element of truth in this claim. Whereas men tend to remain
cool even in very dangerous situations and just deal with it courageously,
unbelieving women often surrender to fear and panic, thereby escalating
the situation and making it even more difficult for themselves.
For this reason, men are often forced to calm their women down while
trying to resolve the situation.
Such a situation is inconceivable for Muslim
women, for their love, trust, dedication, and submission to Allah
help them develop a strong, courageous, and brave personality. They
know that Allah will test them with hardship and that those who
remain firm in their submission and dedication to Him will be rewarded
with His mercy. This makes them even more determined, as Allah reveals
Many a Prophet has been killed,
when there were many thousands with him. They did not give up
in the face of what assailed them in the Way of Allah, nor did
they weaken, nor did they yield. Allah loves the steadfast. (Surah
Al 'Imran: 146)
Those who, when disaster strikes
them, say: "We belong to Allah, and to Him we will return." (Surat
Those to whom people said: "The
people have gathered against you, so fear them." But that merely
increased their faith, and they said: "Allah is enough for us
and the Best of Guardians." (Surah Al 'Imran: 173)
This bravery is based on their lack of concern
for their worldly life, for they know that their submission and
trust in Allah will be rewarded in the best possible way. Allah
gave life and will take it back again, just as He gave everything
else (e.g., health, youth, and property) and will take it all back
again. Aware of this truth, and that Allah creates everything according
to His wisdom and goodness, they maintain their peace of mind. As
a result, believing women never lose heart in the face of danger,
hardship, or personal risk.
Furthermore, their courage is reflected in their
determination to observe the limits that Allah has imposed upon
humanity. Whatever the situation, they do not make compromises with
the Qur'an's morality or fear or respect any thing or being other
than Allah. Allah reveals this quality in the verse given below:
. those who conveyed Allah's
Message and had fear [and respect] of Him, fearing [and respecting]
no one except Allah. Allah suffices as a Reckoner. (Surat al-Ahzab:
Muslim Women Refrain from
Empty Words and Deeds
Allah defines the believers as "those
who turn away from worthless talk" (Surat al-Mu'minun: 3)
and "those who do not bear false witness and
who, when they pass by worthless talk, pass by with dignity"
(Surat al-Furqan: 72). In other words, Muslims who come face to
face with such situations do not compromise on their dignity and
honor and do not behave in an un-Islamic manner.
Passing time in such ways is common among unbelieving
women. As we mentioned above, women who have not acquired great
ideals are characterized by certain types of behavior. Some are
of benefit to their families, their environment, and themselves,
while others are just habits designed to pass time. Some of the
best known of these are socializing with friends on certain days,
spending the whole day watching television programs of no particular
value, spending hours on the phone, complaining about anything and
everything, gossiping, and discussing other people's shortcomings.
The common denominator of all these activities is that they benefit
Allah reveals that such people's hearts are drawn
toward the things of this world:
Their hearts are distracted.
(Surat al-Anbiya': 3)
Muslim women avoid such useless activities, since
they are well aware that Allah has granted people only a limited
amount of time. Knowing that they must use this time to win Allah's
good pleasure, mercy, and His Paradise, they live every moment of
their lives accordingly. Not willing to waste even one moment with
pointless activities or small talk, which they will regret in the
Hereafter, they strive to do good deeds. As He reveals, they are
engaged in a constant race to win His good pleasure: "They
believe in Allah and the Last Day, enjoin the right and forbid the
wrong, and compete in doing good. They are among the believers."
(Surah Al 'Imran: 114)
Muslim Women Are Chaste and
Wealth and sons are the embellishment
of the life of this world. But, in your Lord's sight, right actions
that are lasting bring a better reward and are a better basis
for hope. (Surat al-Kahf: 46)
Through this verse, Allah reveals an important
fact to people: Those things that are so important for some and
to which they dedicate their entire lives to obtaining, are only
the temporary pleasures of this life. The only true and lasting
values are the spiritual values and their firm establishment in
a person's life. But people who disregard this reality chase wealth,
status, and property due to their misguided belief that these will
bring them honor, respect, and true values. Likewise, they measure
others with these values and, according to their material wealth,
decide whether to respect, like, and admire them or not.
In reality, Allah gives all of these things as
gifts for the people to use. But the qualities that bring distinction
and worth in His presence as well as here on Earth, such as honor,
chastity, and integrity, are very different. These qualities, along
with the Muslims' fear and respect of Allah, give purpose and value
to their life and win them other people's sincere respect and love.
Even the richest, most beautiful or powerful person cannot have
the same degree of superiority and exalted nature as a chaste, honorable,
and virtuous person. A person of such qualities has a natural radiance,
beauty, and depth of soul.
Allah reveals that He honors those who make a genuine
effort to live by the Qur'an's morality and fear and respect Him,
as is His due: "If you avoid the serious wrong
actions you have been forbidden, We will erase your bad actions
and admit you by a Gate of Honor" (Surat an-Nisa': 31) and
The men and women who give charity
and make a good loan to Allah will have it increased for them,
and they will have a generous reward. (Surat al-Hadid: 18)
People's true honor is revealed by their refusal
to become base when with base people, to seek little gains by little
frauds, to behave like unbelievers, lie, and become a hypocrite.
In other words, they respond to all people with the same maturity
and good character. Muslim women display honor and integrity by
behaving in accordance with their complete fear and respect of Allah,
as well as their total belief in and submission to Him. They never
compromise over such issues, for they know that doing so will displease
Him and put them on the same level as unbelievers.
In many verses, Allah mentions the importance
of chastity and how it benefits women. He reveals that Maryam's
character and chastity is an example for all women, regardless of
time or location, and reminds them of their ensuing superiority:
And when the angels said: "Maryam,
Allah has chosen you and purified you. He has chosen you over
all other women." (Surah Al 'Imran: 42)
In other verses, Allah reminds people that chastity
is an important and defining characteristic of Muslim women:
If any of you do not have the
means to marry free women who are believers, you may marry slave
girls who are believers. Allah knows best about your faith; you
are all the same in that respect. Marry them with their owners'
permission and give them their dowries correctly and courteously
as married women, not in fornication or taking them as lovers.
(Surat an-Nisa': 25)
... so are chaste women from
among the believers and chaste women of those given the Book before
you, once you have given them their dowries in marriage, not in
fornication or taking them as lovers. But as for anyone who rejects
faith, his actions will come to nothing, and in the Hereafter
he will be among the losers. (Surat al-Ma'ida: 5)
Chastity brings honor and respect to women and
prevents their being made to suffer in society. In another verse,
Allah states that "this makes it more likely
that they will be recognized and not be harmed" (Surat al-Ahzab:
Muslim women acquire honor, integrity, and respect
by adhering to the limits that Allah has established for humanity.
A person's virtuous and chaste nature can be determined from his
or her behavior, conversation, movements, facial expressions, and
even from a smile. A chaste woman has a natural aura of well-being,
a radiant personality, and a trustworthy character. As Allah reveals,
Muslims are recognized by these qualities. In fact, "their
mark is on their faces, the traces of prostration..." (Surat
22- Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, The Risale-i Nur Collection, Barla Lahikası
(Barla Letters), 78.
23- Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, The Risale-i Nur Collection, The Flashes
Collection: The Twenty-first Flash.
24- Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, The Risale-i Nur Collection, Mesnevi-i
Nuriye ("The seed-bed" of the Risale-i Nur), 215.
25- Sahih al-Bukhari hadiths.